Rezsia Admin
Wolf Gender : Wolf Age : 2 years Crush On : Perhaps Fang Mate : No one Health : Experience : Strength : Speed : Agility : Wisdom : Dominant's Trust : Reputation : 7
| Subject: Confliction Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:01 pm | |
| Confliction
What the night hides?
The night is dark, the night is still.
The soft whispering of leaves the only sound.
From the dark a golden gleam;
A pair of eyes,
The tiger stood waiting; alert, deadly.
What does he guard?
A dark opening deep in the hills.
Amber eyes narrowed, soon the fight to be began.
Quick silent paws padded, the brush of soft fur.
In the cave is the wolf, waiting, struggling to be freed.
What the wolf wants?
The snow, the sun, the cool brush of the wind.
A dream that is unattainable,
The freedom to run, to leap, to dream.
What the fight brings?
Snarls, growls, the flash of teeth.
Blood flowed, strength struggling against strength.
An opening and the wolf leapt,
But the fangs blocked the attack again and again.
Night after night, day after day, the endless struggle.
Who am I?
I am the tiger, I am the wolf.
Two conflicting personalities,
Anger, aggression, love yet to be freed.
My spirit is raw; it is old and it is young.
The hidden gentleness, always the need to pretend.
My heart is protected,
By the golden eyes.
The wolf is forever trapped, howling for the sun.
But finally is allowed to be free
You have reached passed all my defenses,
Called the tiger to sleep.
The wolf takes the first step,
The joy, the wonder, the yearning to have more.
He shall never retreat back into the dark and the fear
Last edited by Rezsia on Thu Jun 28, 2012 8:17 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Confliction Thu Jun 28, 2012 5:37 pm | |
| Omg, I love this one so much. The grammar is splendid, as well! Superior to Daphne's in every way! :3 Though, "ember" is the smouldering remains of a fire, "amber" is probably what you mean, as it's a golden-honey colour that could remind one of a flame's hue. Though, I have a little issue with "soon the fight to be began". I think "to" should be replaced with "will". "Struggle" in "strength struggle against strength" should be "struggling", "the wolf leap" should be "the wolf leapt" or "leaped".
I also think that "But finally he is freed, allowed to be free" is redundant. xD The "allowed to be free" isn't actually necessary. And there's a typo. "Hav" should be "have". "Urning" is rare slang for a male homosexual, by the way. I believe "yearning" should be there. xD Other than that, this one is amazing.
Much superior to Daphne's.
Like this one:
"I never felt this way before... But why this is so dark? This is so fitting to my feelings... They puzzle and kill me... I feel like I'm grasping, this world can't let me free!
Tears run from my eyes, I just can't understand You said "Everything is alright", But I don't feel it, I can't feel it! I don't want to feel it! Why this is so painful? Every choice in my life, came to pain! Why happiness doesn't work?!
Don't try to befriend me now, I'm afraid of facing this whole world, Of facing you! Some many times I'm fooled. Now I just see the darkness I'm in..."
xD "WHY HAPPINESS DOESN'T WORK?!" Emotional, but dear god. xD It's so hammy. |
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Rezsia Admin
Wolf Gender : Wolf Age : 2 years Crush On : Perhaps Fang Mate : No one Health : Experience : Strength : Speed : Agility : Wisdom : Dominant's Trust : Reputation : 7
| Subject: Re: Confliction Thu Jun 28, 2012 8:18 pm | |
| Thank you again glad you liked it. And also thanks for saving me from embarrassment by using urning lol lol I agree, and also, I think she tried to use too much words. xD
Last edited by Rezsia on Thu Jun 28, 2012 8:22 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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